Shoshi, mother of Yasmin, a mentee at Sunflowers

"For me Sunflowers is a home. It is a safe and containing space where once a week my daughter becomes a regular girl, equal among equals, and not the different girl, the one whose father died. I don’t even know what exactly they do there. I know that they play, talk, sometimes she comes home with a letter, sometimes with things that she wrote about herself, sometimes some handcraft that expresses thoughts and insights. There are times that she shares and other times she just says that it was really fun and that she’s already waiting for next Wednesday, but doesn’t give any details.

I love the time on Wednesday afternoon when I bring her to the other side of the city, to the place that envelopes her with love and tenderness, a containing place where if she wants to she can talk freely and openly with other children about the things that really preoccupy her, about things that she can’t talk about with other children, who are not in a similar situation, because they wouldn’t understand.

I feel that besides the hours of pure fun, Yasmin processes what happened to her and how what happened affects her life. Sunflowers gives her strength, security and a sense of self-worth that are so important for every child, and of course for a child whose parental protection was ruptured"

"After my mother passed away, I felt that life continued on without me. At Sunflowers I gained a peer group, here I received tools for coping with the death. There is security and attentiveness here that there isn’t anywhere else. I have the honor of reaching closure and helping Yasmin, my mentee"

Neta, a mentor

Noa Chen, Founder of Sunflowers Tel Aviv branch

Hey, if you got here – it’s a sign that you’re on the path to doing good for yourself and for others.

I’m here to tell you about the huge role Sunflowers plays in my life and in the life of others.

So, nice to meet you, I’m Noa Chen, an orphan since I was 4 years old. My father died from a heart attack when I was 4. Out of the support that I did not have I had the honor of establishing and managing the Sunflowers branch in Tel Aviv.

I began the process full of motivation, to give what I didn’t have at the time to other orphans like me, and at the same time quite hesitant, wary of this huge challenge – to establish a branch of Sunflowers’ core program! As time passed I understood that Sunflowers makes me happy and fulfills me. It wasn’t an easy process - a lot of introspection, about my personal process as an orphan, and also in the face of the various bureaucratic difficulties entailed in establishing a branch. As time progressed, a group began to form with powerful group dynamics, and the same took place the year after, and continues to this day.

My personal process at Sunflowers was a long process of self-acceptance. I saw how over time I began to believe in myself more and in my abilities - owing to the personal coping challenges I faced and overcame regarding orphanhood, and the relationships with the mentors and mentees. It was a very special process. A great deal of self-love grew out of my work a Sunflowers.

It is my belief - that at Sunflowers we create a shift in the sense of acceptance, we make room for loving and receiving love without feeling guilty. It is an opportunity to feel contained, to receive a hug and legitimacy for our feelings. The process we go through, and we guide others through, gives the feeling that I am equal, and at the same time special and unique. Sunflowers provides a loving hug and embrace to orphaned children and creates a framework that changes their inner perception of themselves - they learn how to appreciate and love themselves more. We have been successful in raising awareness about Sunflowers among many orphaned youth, and thanks to this they received legitimacy to accept themselves and to further examine their feelings.

It was a fun year. I met children who were like me so I didn’t feel different, and I felt there as if it was my second home. With my friends I usually feel a bit different, or in general in the company of people who are not like me, but there I felt the greatest sense of belonging in the world. Sunflowers helped me understand that there are other people like me and that I’m not the only one, because when I thought that I was the only one then I was sad all the time. Thank you to Sunflowers that was at my side throughout the year and understood me.

May, a mentee

Anat, head of the “Both Sides” project

Nice to meet you. I’m Anat, 28, from Herzliya.

I have an amazing partner and two cats, and I am orphaned from both my parents.

My mother passed away when I was 12, and my father passed away one year and four months after that - both from cancer.

The year after my father died was the most difficult year in my life. It was not only his death and the grief which was natural that I would feel. It was the change of status.

Suddenly I’m an orphan. At the age of 22. Without an anchor, without a foundation. Trying to find myself in the world, to continue at work and in my studies that were there before, to act as if business is as usual, while inside there wasn’t even an ounce of normalcy. The most difficult feeling was the loneliness.

I was uprooted, I had no one to tell about passing or failing a test, no one to inform about being accepted or rejected for the new job, no one whom I could show how proud I felt, no one to lean on. And what’s more, the friends around me didn’t really understand how I really felt.

Time passed, I went to therapy and began to open up to the world. At this place of all places in my life, when I began to grow, I had thoughts such as “if I could only meet more people whose both parents had passed away”. In my mind I imagined a group of people that understood each other without judgment and without pity. A place where you could talk about everything.

I looked for such a place and to my surprise I did not find one. So I decided to join Sunflowers and to build such a project.

We started “From both Sides” in March 2019.

We created a Facebook group in which young people who had lost both their parents could find a community and a home, a community for young people ages 18-40 whose both parents had passed away. The project includes both a virtual group on the one hand, and support meetings and social get-togethers on the other hand.

Thanks to this project I also have the opportunity to unburden what’s in my heart in a closed group, in which I know I can say anything and also talk about the less pleasant and less talked about aspects of the loss. I feel that I finally found meaning in what happened to me at the personal level. My parents did not pass away for nothing. Owing to what happened to me I can help other young orphans (and in the process also myself), and make them feel that they are not alone, and that there is a place in the world that is a home for them.